Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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