she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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