I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
