oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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