I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
