Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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