does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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