it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
