i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
