Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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