some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
