You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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