Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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