i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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