we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
