have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
