Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
