i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
