Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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