I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
