I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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