I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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