is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
