exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Acid is not a monday night drug
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
