We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
