Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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