We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
smell my finger.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
