He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
