Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
