He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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