too bad you live with your parents still
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
