Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
