Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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