He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
