You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
