So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Where is the hickey?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
