this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
