is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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