so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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