u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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