so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
