You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
