Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
