I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
