I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
