She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
