he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
