please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
