I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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