my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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